Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Kiss your child g'night even when they are asleep..

Kids all over the world are facing negligence and extreme carelessness as far as the behavior that's being meted out to them is concerned.There's a need for communication and for parents to spend time with them. Don't just ask them to pass salt at the dining table, ask for their views on a particular subject. Try understanding them. No form of abuse,then be mental or physical should they be subjected to.The scars will dissolve but the mental trauma stays.Some part of the wound never heals. It creates an irreconcilable far apartness between the child and the parent rather the perpetrator.

They are tiny souls,hungry for love, ever-ready to please, never intentionally wanting to upset you, never expecting more than just your loving company. The kind of relationships  that a child develops throughout his life depends on the kind of bond they share with each parent. It gives them a general outline of  what the world they are yet to see,is like.

The father is a daughter's first hero and the mother, a son's first love.

Parents who are the reason for a conflict between their better half and their child must remember that a child needs both parents and they will always be mom and dad to their child irrespective of the relation they share with each otherThe last thing a little child wants to do is to express a preference for one parent over the other.Don't ever make your child go through something like that.

Get involved.Ask him what all he thinks about.Make him feel the parental warmth,be with him when he's frightened, scared,sick, excited, thrilled or all at the same time; give him the space to share and you'll learn that you can your be your child's best friend!

A parent has to be there for the child to help him become emotionally stable, to help him realise what he is, to hold his finger and walk him for the first time, to hold him tight when he feels low, to tell him they'd always be there no matter what and that they'd help him bounce back and things would be okay as before, to help him help him live..Presence is more than just being there..

The kind of words you use leave deep imprints and they stay long after they have been said.

"When a parent decides to act like one of the children and begins to scream and yell at the child, all the opportunity for teaching is lost."

If you're not forgiving, expect too much, or are a perfectionist and hence upon the most trivial of their mistakes inflict  huge amount of pain in the form of physical,verbal or emotional abuse then all that it's going to do is make your child an introvert, discourage him from talking things out and thus make him bottle things up. He'd feel lonely and depressed  and eventually unattached especially when it'd come to you. He'd stop believing in relationships, think too much and ultimately drive himself crazy.

you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father." 

Encouraging words from parents are like light switches."Speak a word of affirmation at the right moment in a child's life and it's like lighting up a whole roomful of possibilities."A great tree always springs from a tender plant. You are their most important teachers.They are what you will them to be.
Love your child with all you have and more.Kiss them goodnight even if they are asleep.

Relationships are complex and children very high maintainance and you wouldn't really understand parenthood unless you start to know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back..


Anonymous said...

I'd read somewhere that every fear that a person builds or any other psychological condition be OCD or just a minor habit originates from childhood itself which is the most influential age and the major influences in most cases come from the parents themselves,who they look up to until they start thinking for themselves(NEVER,in most cases).They're always right for them.So,the right kind of treatment and grooming at that stage itself is extremely necessary.

This is very well-written.I hope every person who plans to be a parent some day would know this.We'd have a heaven of our own then.:D

Unknown said...

I so agree with you!!
And OCD,just don't talk about it!!
And that's how it is.
If the parent has a habit of shouting at everything,they(kids) start thinking that that's the way to deal with things and it's okay to shout all the time even if you're being disrespectful which is so wrong and I don't know how to get this across to every "violent" parent.It's so important to!

Unknown said...

d first relationship made iz between parent n child...n if a chil loses its beleif in d first n d most important relation...he would b never b able 2 have a faith in relations n would always remain a loner...
so d bonding n intimacy is very much necessary between child n parents...
wish all d parents would get dis ..n try 2 strengthen d bonding with there child..

Anonymous said...

its always like understanding and type of relationship they maintained between cant be mend in one day neither can be broken in only one time...wid increasing race..its almost impossible fr parents to giv thm time....aftr all wat they r doing is only fr their children... also wen kids get busy in their activities..their parents may feel their absence...its just like how they both take it.. if this world is going so fast..they hv to be in speed too...and th child wil learn th same if he ll see this frm childhood.

Unknown said...

Yes, Subarna that is what I've tried to pen down too and since you've got the point,I'm happy I put it across well.

At the recent most anonymous.
I don't think you read or understood the entire article well.It wasn't just about the time a parent can/is willing to give to his child.It's about a lot more and "time" was only just one aspect.

xyzandme said...

well researched, well thought and well written.. keep it up

Anonymous said...

i wish my mom had read this when i was growing up, and understood it too...but then that would be pointless, my mom being my mom would still think she was the perfect mother, even when she was' reading stuff like this just depresses me, because it's already too late.

Unknown said...

I too want to make mine read it but just like you,I see no point because they might not understand for one and even if they do,I don't think it'd do them any good..would just make them feel guilty and very at that and now that I know it,I don't think I have the heart to do this to them.

Unknown said...

same here....i wish my parents would have read it...thn there would not have been so much problems between us....

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