Monday, July 27, 2009

The Authress.

To me everything’s either Black or White, the two most powerful colors. I am a double Scorpion and a true one. I have a deep, strong commanding voice and just as strong a personality to go with and I hate it when they tell me I sound like a kid. Morally sound, guilty conscious, egotistic, highly obstinate, I know how to make people respect me. I don’t socialize with the opposite sex and think that’ll raise my popularity level. I don’t need to do that. I am anti-festive, anti-social. I am dark. I love the dimly lit ambience, silhouette of things, darkness around. I never shy away from looking into anyone’s eyes, my own gaze being deep-mystifying-piercing-hypnotic. I reek of passion, intensity, paradox, obsession, possessiveness and intensity. I have often been tagged as a perfectionist even when I’m ham-fisted and an untamed jay-walker. I often over-indulge in things. I suffer from obsessive-compulsive-disorder. When I lose it, I see neither wrong nor right. Pugnacious, my anger is uncontrollable and often destroys relationships. Even the most trivial of things wounds my soul. I haven’t yet found one person worth idolizing. I join no fan clubs. I deem very few people worthy of being friends with. I don’t have many friends. I am rather recluse, introverted, a Dreamer, a Thinker. You can not fathom me out. I am at times like a calm breeze caressing wounded hearts and at times the most aggressive of an animal and your description of me in any of the restricted frames would only make you a character assassin. Bigoted pessimistic paranoid, impudent reckless catatonic obfuscat-or. I am lavish, often spending more than necessary and a plausible arguementator. My thoughts are weird; views highly extreme, unbearable making me a thoroughbred fascist; dreams of World Domination, my feelings a whirlwind mess of mixed emotions and my words deep, more often than not, leaving a profound impact on people, churning the wheels of their brains into motion. I believe. I lack patience and often take important decisions in a jiffy owing to my impulsiveness. I often express or do things that I regret later. I am a master of powerful intuitions, strong sense of premonitions. Ignorance in people and slow thinkers drive me out of my mind. Once you get to know me you might get a feeling that I suffer from M.P.D and what is termed as Megalomania. I am cynical, reproachful yet bubbly, bawdy and boisterous but my thunderous silence has driven people crazy too. I am highly capricious and my mood swings like a twig suspended in a calamitous weather. I think beyond earthly realms. I hardly respect anybody. It is something hard to get. Brash, brutally truthful, I never praise people to get them high headed when I don’t mean it so when I tell you you’re a good singer, you should stop singing in the bathroom and grab hold of a microphone. I don’t ever ask for favors, I don’t want to appear needy. I hate to be at people’s mercy. I don’t allow people insights into the challenges I face as a not-so-paranormal human and make a show of my vulnerability. I don’t want to give them a chance to make fun of me when I feel low or know me better either for that matter. I keep myself to myself creating a reservoir of motion. Grandiloquent but I have a way with words and an uncanny ability to motivate others. I lack discipline and order. Sensory experiences are essential to the enjoyment of my life. I have been perceived as a wild child by adults and a source of concern by my family. I am my own harshest critic. I yearn for freedom. I am extremely idealistic and a visionary with the ability to influence and direct the masses. I am drawn to those who suffer at the hands of injustice. I am the righter of the wrongs and my deepest intention is to transform the world. From time to time, I find myself involved in a relation whose very life depends upon my willingness to sacrifice something that relates directly to my ego. I am a bad judge of character. I use my mind to penetrate the mysteries of life, with my abstract approach lifting my thinking beyond the rudimentary to the philosophical. I search beneath the surface and abhor shallow judgments and opinions. I am perceived as cool and aloof. I feel slightly removed and a little different. I distrust feelings-both my own and others and the unpredictability of the heart frightens me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

U r v harsh to urself....I think u urself lyk 2 make ur lyf hard...!try to connect wid others...data nly ma opinion m nt tryin to imply it on u forcefully....!

Ravi E said...

You liked a few pics of mine on Instagram and I found the link to your blog on your feed. Sorry for the stalking. :P

I was expecting two or three posts at the max, so imagine my surprise when I found a few dozen pages worth of posts! Also, after skimming through most of them, I found that you are not "just another chick who thinks she can write" but someone who can actually convincingly put their voice across. Then I stumbled onto this post and I have to admit, I could never have given such a frank and insightful description of myself.

Anyway, keep up the great writing! Adding you to my Google Plus circles and expecting to see more strongly worded blog posts with a lot of character. :)

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