Sunday, June 27, 2010

...and the tiny heart ceased to beat..

Life's not so much about the evil pursuing of our passions as it is about attachment.Exact twenty days time he was with us,the tiny effulgent-ly colored bird.Used to sleep.A lot.I'd named him Sotad or the Sleepyhead,the only one I took pains to recognize among the other seven similar birds.The second thing after that day's somber noon I did was to write this.The first,I cried,more vehemently than I had in almost a year.Silent muffled sobs.Those tiny eyes will never stare back at me.I'll never marvel again at him digging his beak in his many feathers and going off to sleep(which he did the best)or preening his tail but I'll always fondly remember the twenty days that he did.When I saw him last,he lay still in the bowl we've kept to feed them,very still.That moment I knew he was dead but I still found myself wildly holding on to the last ray of hope of him feigning death but I knew better.I am still trying to figure out whether the memory of the death lingers for long or memory of the life that it purloined.I can't.I'm never having a pet again.

7 comments:

Indian Psycho said...

Since I've or some sense not to appreciate even the lines this time, quite too heavy to take...sometimes letting go of things is the only way. Take care.

Shreya. said...

I know.And even when you would rather not,you do let go.First you forget the way they smelt,then the way they looked,then you have difficulty in even remembering what color was the eye and then one morning you wake up and find they've left you.They're no more there inside you and thus you move on.

Indian Psycho said...

True. Completely. Word by word. Sometimes maybe there are too many things in life to bother about, than to care about one and keep sticking to it, when we know we lost it back in time.

Shreya. said...

Yeah!And once you start letting go only then can you allow someone else to fill the void and it happens sooner or later.All a part of life.

Indian Psycho said...

You're sometimes so complete that i find it hard to say anything else. And this time certainly :)

Anonymous said...

There is a fine line between being attached to something and being just stuck on to it.
Thats all i have to say.
You're smart,you dont need much indication!
I know you'd defend yourself now,but deep down inside you know you dont like frowning either,and hope you'd not care so much!

Shreya. said...

You're right but I'm not going to defend myself.I can't.I know I get attached too much and much too easily and it might be at times interpreted as "stuck" but I haven't been able to change it.I care and a lot at that.When you stop caring you become lesser human.

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