Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I gaze up at the sky and the lightning tears it apart. The guilt eats me up alive. Clouds obliterate the sky. I love them,the clouds.I see something in them most of the time,if not always. The bustling-with-sloth-and-sullen-activities town obstructs my vision of the road. I still can trace the silhouette of high-rising-towering towers meant to conceal within its gray walls the silence of obscurity,of loneliness,of mobility not owning to some purpose,any purpose but to being afraid,perhaps to smile too much because it's not the smile coming from a jovial dressed gaily in ribbons and flounces-it's more like pleading,pleading for what,I know not. The rains stopped pounding fists on the window,my window,even when I'd have greeted it with open arms. I want to be able to tell someone,my someone "look how beautiful the view is",but too bad I can't think of a name. I want to be out,all by myself and not be sloshed with bereavement. I want to be out there and not be scared. I want to be out there and let the loneliness engulf me not forcefully but owing to my own volition. I want to be out there and kill the void that deepens day by day and the need of having someone to hold onto. All I ask for is freedom and the right to choose what I can see and what not.. I am not ready to face the dark world,not the whole of it,not yet..