Saturday, December 18, 2010
Yes.You too are.Ever felt something that you shouldn't?Ever thought you've morally gone corrupt?Ever hated yourself for feeling some way?Don't.Everyone's the same.Everyone goes through the 'I hate me' phase!It's only human and very natural.Everyone's masked.We never can dare to unveil ourselves,stand naked and face the crowd.We're too afraid to accept ourselves even when alone which in turn makes us loath our inner selves and feel that we'd be hated for what we are,once we put forth all that we feel inside.I don't blame us.
If you could read minds,you'd start to hate people and how they think but somewhere deep down you know you aren't much different.Everyone's different and yet the same.Everyone's dark,ugly,self-centered and everyone tries hiding their inner dark side behind a thick sheath of fake-ness,sugar-coated lies,hypocrisy et al.
I feel offended at times not because people have no values but because they don't even stick to whatever little that they have.And yes, I get carried away but don't you too?
Why do people do things they don't much appreciate others doing?How can you back bite and still come embrace me the very next moment?
"Slaves of the society" is all I get for an answer.I failed to realize,I fail to understand.
I know I should no longer take all those "promises" seriously but I am weak and I don't know how to walk without the ones I've held onto for so long.Promises are like old horses,often saddled,never ridden.Although I know things would change,I still make people "promise" that they'd not.I still yearn for something I have no business thinking about,for the once-upon-a-time clear vision's blurred with emotions.The blood smeared countenance speaks languages your mind can't hear.I reckon the voices in your head are much more clear.
I once again shirk back in agony,not knowing how to tackle,not wanting to either.I remain motionless but smile in self-appreciation nevertheless owing to one new realization.
They say they want to be immortal.That when they are dying each second.
By changing themselves,contradicting what they said just the very next moment,giving up on things and people who once meant the world to them,lying to themselves and by running away from who they are..because it's killing a part of them..bit by bit,as time ticks away and then they're dead.
Of late I've started to relinquish my grip on those long-held promises.It does make me feel less vulnerable,less unsafe and makes me seem tough but has only made me hollow..