Saturday, December 18, 2010

Everyone's ugly on the inside.

Yes.You too are.Ever felt something that you shouldn't?Ever thought you've morally gone corrupt?Ever hated yourself for feeling some way?Don't.Everyone's the same.Everyone goes through the 'I hate me' phase!It's only human and very natural.Everyone's masked.We never can dare to unveil ourselves,stand naked and face the crowd.We're too afraid to accept ourselves even when alone which in turn makes us loath our inner selves and feel that we'd be hated for what we are,once we put forth all that we feel inside.I don't blame us.

If you could read minds,you'd start to hate people and how they think but somewhere deep down you know you aren't much different.Everyone's different and yet the same.Everyone's dark,ugly,self-centered and everyone tries hiding their inner dark side behind a thick sheath of fake-ness,sugar-coated lies,hypocrisy et al.
I feel offended at times not because people have no values but because they don't even stick to whatever little that they have.And yes, I get carried away but don't you too?
Why do people do things they don't much appreciate others doing?How can you back bite and still come embrace me the very next moment?
"Slaves of the society" is all I get for an answer.I failed to realize,I fail to understand.
I know I should no longer take all those "promises" seriously but I am weak and I don't know how to walk without the ones I've held onto for so long.Promises are like old horses,often saddled,never ridden.Although I know things would change,I still make people "promise" that they'd not.I still yearn for something I have no business thinking about,for the once-upon-a-time clear vision's blurred with emotions.The blood smeared countenance speaks languages your mind can't hear.I reckon the voices in your head are much more clear.
I once again shirk back in agony,not knowing how to tackle,not wanting to either.I remain motionless but smile in self-appreciation nevertheless owing to one new realization.

They say they want to be immortal.That when they are dying each second.
By changing themselves,contradicting what they said just the very next moment,giving up on things and people who once meant the world to them,lying to themselves and by running away from who they are..because it's killing a part of them..bit by bit,as time ticks away and then they're dead.

Of late I've started to relinquish my grip on those long-held promises.It does make me feel less vulnerable,less unsafe and makes me seem tough but has only made me hollow..


Name-less said...

Had you been actually thinking of likes of me while going for the title!
On bull's eye!
Totally agreed. Look into the bad past, and sooner that takes over your present for once. As they say, until you start loving yourself, you can't love someone else, but, to add, until you've not hated yourself once, you've not known yourself either!

quoting "they don't even stick to whatever little that they have"...I swear to this, i've seen people play around with that multiple personality disorder shit too! being little genuine, accepting hard facts about yourself and showing them over to others across does better sometimes than trying to mirror the good yourself all the time.

"I know I should no longer take all those "promises" seriously but I am weak and I don't know how to walk without the ones I've held onto for so long.Promises are like old horses"

Let sometimes old horses take track, young ones go astray sometimes! And walking each promise isn't important, the more important thing is, you tried, and you gave your heart to it! :)

amateur astrologer said...

24 carat BULL SHIT!!!

. said...

Always improvise or appreciate, but never negate, someone's thoughts are supposed to be someone's, not to needs, interests and choices of others.

Shreya. said...

To the one who lost his name.
I liked the last bit a lot.
I know what I've put forth is all very negative,almost as if lost all hopes,very me.It's exactly how I feel,at least at the moment.
I don't like to be proved wrong but for once I wouldn't mind.
Thank you for accepting such hard-core negativism and yet not forgetting your own positivity.
That's how it should be.You can't change and miss out on all the good ones just because you came across a few bad ones.Isn't it?

Naam Mein Kya! said...

Absolutely! :)

Anonymous said...

I noticed a major change in style here.This one's a lot more random and addresses people and for the very first time you have compared yourself with average people.(wow,must have heard!)
Well-written though.
A minor explosion of thoughts eh?
I believe in the two faces of humans,there always are.One lead by the conscience and the other usually by the natural urge to favor yourself,the emotional one and the practical them whatever,both are contained within and both speak.We hear out to both and listening to either can be appropriate a certain time.

Shreya. said...

Yes,random it is.It's not something I spent a lot of time thinking over.Sat myself down just once and out it came in one smooth flow.
I don't claim to be extraordinary,different.I am very average(might be sounding contradictory).I have grown in a couple of months,can peep into my inner being now and raise questions,the answers to which lie within.I just have to look.
I agree there are two sides to people.Driven by conscience and by self-interest.You need to embrace both,the good and the bad.I am just having problems because I came to terms with reality a little late.Thought I could make at least 'my world' an ideal one,if not the whole of it.I'm still hopeful.I always will be.

Nik said...

Nice blog ...

Don't fully agree with the title of the post though!

Sagarr.. said...

Its works..


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