Sunday, July 19, 2009
Now, a lot of ‘saint-like’ people try to infiltrate my thoughts, change the way I tackle things, convert me into a hypocrite and want me exclaiming “tu gaali deti hai!!” with an expression which is a proportionate mixture of utter disgust and extreme amazement and the funny part is, they think I’ll actually mend my ways and stop swearing and act like a Miss-goody-two-shoes going “ouch” at the minutest of scratches. I want to almost strangulate these god-forsaken arseholes and tell them that I frigging don’t swear owing to any fucking series of catastrophic incidents. They think that I do so because when I was a kid, I was abused, made fun of and ridiculed and every time picked at or whatever the fuck! The thing is its NOT that. I don’t swear and use abusive words because I wasn’t treated right at some point of time and because this is the only way I see of getting back at them. Lord! Shove such preconceived notions up your ass and some brains into you. And neither do I swear because I want to act like a cool dude and go “Yo”! N-o! I do it because I don’t want to be constrained by conventions, escape masochism. I don’t want to act like a vulnerable fucker who’s always at people’s mercy, the butt of everyone’s jokes and the one who’s always taken advantage of. I do it because I don’t want any kind of demarcation segregating me from the rugged toughies making me a member of tight-arsed-high-heels-wearing community of the fairer sex. I do it to vent my spleen and to not let frustrations build up inside me pushing me to the edge of depression. And I don’t see what’s so freaking wrong in this! Why the ruddy hell should I refrain from it? Because am a girl? Or because its morally unsound? Or may be because The Gita says so? I mean what the fuck! I don’t want to portray myself as a pretentious prig, act proper-proper, lose my spontaneity and put restrictions on my inherent persona just because I want to be talked good about in the society. Trust me, the fuck I care about those worthless gossip-mongers that the women have turned into, about those skinny-waxed-bitches and their not-so-fantastical-opinion about me. What they talk about me is none of my business so I suggest they stop trying to awaken my conscience and make me feel guilty-conscious because I’ve sold my conscience off for a plate of Pani-Puri as far as this particular subject is concerned and it was yummy, take my word! My best friend tells me that I possess an extreme penchant for breaking rules. May be, but that isn’t how I’d like to put it. I’d rather say that I am driven by my yearning to break-free off the handcuffs of obtuse society obligations and the unavoidable passion to stand out from the damned crowd.